Friday, August 17, 2007

Sweat Towel

FYI: This one is a wee bit gross...

I've been in Texas, Northern Wisconsin, So-Cal and the heart of Mexico and i've never experienced heat like that of Japan. Additionally it doesn't help that i'm genetically predisposed to eating cod in ice capped fjords nor that the focus of my diet has been 'insulation'. Japan in summer is, as one prosaic Scotsman put it, "This is where Satan goes on vacation". You can't fry an egg on the sidewalk as said egg would be poached, in shell, ere you cracked it.
It is (literally!) so hot that i had to stop typing because of the sweat pouring off my finger tips onto the computer. Sweat so profuse that (again, literally) my fingers pruned up as if i'd been sitting in hottub for an hour. After playing soccer for an hour, i felt like a giant fairy sprinkling magic sweat beads every time i swung my arms. I took a ten minute walk had to put a towel on my lap because of the torrent streaming from my chin.
It's hot. The average temperature, at 10AM has been around 100. But as the saying goes, it's not the heat, it's the humidity. It's so bad that when i informed my manager i would be teaching class from my house because i didn't want to go outside she asked when i would start at my new location and reached for the phone to start calling students.
Thankfully there are a couple of J-remedies that are helpful. The aforementioned sweat towel has got to be the most effective apart from good ol' A/C. Not only does it protect my Norse neck from the sun, it makes me look like a linebacker when i tuck it under my shirt. Many a head i've turned looking like Romanoski on the road. Thank the Maker for A/C. I'll probably have to take that Yukaza job to pay for electric bill next month. Additionally, Japan offers a wide selection of beverages to replace water and electrolytes ("It's what plants crave") under names such as Aquarious, C-C Lemon and my personal favorite, Calpis (pronounced 'cow-piss').
Then there's, um, the "holistic" advice i got from some of my Japanese friends. Apparently apart from hand fans there are bells to help cool off. Bells. These magic trinkets stave off the heat when they chime. I was going to lecture them on the difference between sound waves and radiation, but i sweating too much already.

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