Thai Grasshopper. . .crunchy. Actually, it wasn't too bad.

I'm the greetest

It's been brought my attention that i wrote 'doping' instead of 'doing'. I'm just gonna leave it...but please don't "doping".

The Teacher Need Vacation Badly

It's been nearly a year since i've blogged...must have been busy. Well to catch all-ya-all up. I've finally moved out of the dorm into my own apartment. I've become a homeroom teacher, forgotten most of the Japanese (famous of course) that i learned in Akita and had students try to poison me. Good times.

It's been a weird, weird week.

I usually get a ride to school from a buddy of mine. I cruise over around 6, have me some coffee (thank you Costco kirkland brand!) check the news on the computer box then we ride into work. It's a please day to start the day.
Then last Friday. I roll into his house. . . something is strange. There's extra shoes; not just shoes but shoes with tassels and faux crocodile leather. Huh. I look up and low and behold there's unshod feet looking back from the dining room table. Huh.
"Oye Mashu!"
Huh.
Apparently, our Japanese friends Kazuki and Shu had decided to drinking Thursday night... they just never decided to stop. They'd shown up at my buddy's place at 5:30. So Davis made them breakfast and coffee then kicked them out.

The next day, I was heading to Davis's place after school. They're a lot of dogs around here. Most of them aren't huge fans. So when i came across a stray, i was a bit cautious. She was an old Golden Retriever. We just kinda stared at each other for a bit. She wasn't going to bite, so i continued on my way. She started to follow me for a bit. I took a left, she took a left. I took a right, she took a right. I had a new friend. A new friend who wasn't going to leave me alone. To get where i wanted to go, you have to cross a pretty major intersection. I didn't really want my new buddy hit by a truck, so i decided to backtrack to see if i could find her home.
I went back up the hill, meandering the streets and talking to my new BFF. I came across a small garden party. I figured i;d put my non-existent Japanese to the test. However, there was a giajin(foreigner)! Yeah! I told him my dilemma and he relayed to the party goers. No dice.
No worries, the wee doggy and wandered off. Back to Davis's . . . until the Mamasan chases me down. "Tabate? Tabete?" (Do you want something to eat?) And that's how i got a free bbq and a strangers house in Kisurazu. Thanks Magic Mystery Dog!

Finally, and this isn't strange, so much as "Matthew is the coolest person you will ever know".
Summer has finally hit Kisurazu and with a fury. I literally almost vomited in class the other day. Way TOO hot.
So yesterday, in my grammar class i'm hot. Hotter than usual. We've been using A/C for the last couple of days, so being in-class is at least bearable. But not in the grammar class, for some reason. Chisato, one of the students, noticed that i was sweating like several pigs. She informs me the temperature is set to 26c (the other rooms are at 23 or 24). So i give the kiddies their work and truck down to the office to cool things down a bit.
Once again Kanji rears its ugly head! There are arrows, squiggly lines and buttons. When in doubt, or Japan. just start pushing buttons. The light temp number goes down to 23. Yatta! Matthew-sensei has won this round!
I return to the classroom and notice all the kids look like me. I practically slip due to all the sweat on the floor.

"Mr. Halverson, I think you need to turn the a/c back on."
"I did Chisato."
"Why's it hotter?"
"It's not. It can't be i turned it down."
"Something wrong though. We're sweating."
"YEah. well it is summer. Go ahead and turn it down more, if you need to."

Chisato leaves and start helping the kids with their work. Man it's hot. She returns with a glare and folded arms.

"You turned on the heater. . ."

So in the end, the lesson is, Kanji sucks and makes things worse.

Hope everyone is doping well. Sorry i haven't been in touch as much as i used to . Please let me know how you're doing.
M

Chiba

I have left the very famous land of Akita.

Actually, quite a bit has changed since last i posted. I am now the science "teacher" for an international school in Chiba. My class sizes have tripled and i don't have any middle-aged Japanese women telling me how great i am. (sigh). Other than that, it's pretty good.

It's actual work-work...that's taking a bit of getting used to, but like i said, good times. The only thing that isn't REALLY good is the time; that is, the time i have to wake up. 6:00AM. bugh...

Speaking of which, i ought to get to bed. I'll try to get something online again soon. If not, i'll see most of you at Christmas.

Very Famous!

Hisashiburi!

Keeping with Japanese culture, I must start this lil' missive with an apology. I've neglected my duty to keep those interested parties abreast of goings on and what not.

Where to start? (Again, going J-style here; WEATHER!) It's finally started to cool down here. Twas another sweltering summer. It's been a bit trickier this year. My apartment doesn't have the anonymity of Chichibu ergo, um, i can't be as naked as i was last summer.

Omagari is still boring (but hey, the rice is "delicious" and "famous"). This is awesome, Omagari has the biggest fireworks competition in Japan. Nothing gets your average Japanese family excited quite like sparkley things, so you can imagine this was a big draw. On average 700,000 people come to watch.
I was fortunate enough to watch them from the front row as it were. And they were awesome. Not worth living in Omagari for 9 months awesome, awesome all the same. This town is so boring that everyone leaves IMMEDIATELY after the show. Chichibu Night festival, people are out till 5:00 AM; Omagari first train out. I'm almost sure the kanji for Omagari translates to "Watching" and "Paint Dry".

So on things more interesting, 80% of my family came for a visit this past May. Ma, Pa and the sisters. The Halversons did Japan. I think they had a good time. I know I did. What's more, I learned so much about Japan, specifically Akita prefecture.
I wasn't able to get the time off, so a couple of my students were gracious enough to take my folks around. They soon discovered EVERYTHING in Akita is famous. They took a "very famous" train to some "very famous" places. They rode in my student's "very famous" car to a "very famous" agriculture museum where they learned about "very famous" rice.
It was a bit of the "very famous" boy who "very famously" cried wolf. On the way to a practice tea ceremony, they were invited into the home of an elderly Japanese man. He showed them his samurai sword and matching dagger. Of course the students were very excited that my family had a "very famous" Japanese man.
Turns out, he actually IS famous. Kazuo Koike. Author of Lonewolf and Cub as well as Lady Snowblade. It be like taking a foreign guest to Starbuck's and having John Grisham invite you all into his house to show off his gun collection.
When Rome do as the Vandals did.
So Dad and Heather decided they wanted authentic sushi, (and being as it was in Akita, i'm sure it was "very famous"). So we went to a kieten sushi place. Before we went in, i explained how it worked and warned them about natto. {A kieten sushi is a restaurant that has a conveyor belt with little sushi plates on it. Each plate has a price attached to the color. Natto is fermented soy beans. It smells and tastes like toe jam. Japanese people eat it because they're told it's delicious in primary school.}

Matthew : O.k. So if you see something that looks like chunky peanut, DO NOT touch it!
Dad: O.k.
Heather: O.k.

Five minutes later...
H: Is this that natto?
M: Yeah.
H: Oh, o.k. (Plate goes by)
D: What's this? (reaches for the plate)
M: Natto. Don't touch it.
D: Oh.
Two seconds later...Dad reaching for a second plate of natto.
M: Dad, that's natto! Don't touch it!
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Fortunately, Heather and I were able to save the ol' Padre from defiling his mouth with Japan's cruelest culinary joke.

And of course we had to do karaoke. Good times. I had to kick things off, but Heather and Sara were up singing and dancing in no time. Eventually, the Pater Familias figured out how to work the remote and we ended up with all kinds of random songs. Including Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof. Neither of the girls were too keen so they thrust the mic into the less than expectant hands of Mom.
Turns out, she has pipes. We were shocked to find Mommy dearest has a great voice. It was a little weird singing the Tevya to my mother's Golde. However, if you ever have the chance to do a duet with your mom (or mine) you won't soon forget it.

So in conclusion: Akita VERY FAMOUS. Natto disgusting. Karaoke fun.

As far as plans for the future go, I'm looking at moving to Chiba sometime next year. There is an actual school that's hiring. It would mean better breaks and pay. Additionally, Chiba offers more to do; not that i don't love watching rice grow.

How to live in Japan for -5 buck a day!

So a gaijin walks into a bagel shop . "hot kohee " he says .

The bill comes out to be 500 yen, but as he is from Seattle he pays without question .

Ten minutes later the waitress comes out with a plate of hot curry .

The slightly confused gaijin, explains that he wanted "Kohee" not "Kuri".

The waitress apologies profusely and delivers the the originally ordered coffee.

To make things better , when she takes the curry back she gives him his 1000 yen and refuses to accept the 500y change !

Now, I'm no mathologist, but if i buy something for 5 bucks, pay with a ten i should get 5 bucks change. Now if i return said item, i should get 5 bucks, not my original tenner.

I'm considering buying a house or car or something and see if i can supplement my income a bit...

I got your snow right HERE!

Or at least i did.

Sorry. It's been a while since i.ve had the time and creative energy to blog (read: Matthew's been lazy). Gomen.

So i moved to my new digs in Omagari on the first of February. Leaving Chichibu was pretty tough...lots of tears and whatnot. Actually, when i informed my class of housewives we ended up chatting for 15 minutes after the lesson had finished. Miki just started rocking in her chair and softly chanting "baka, baaaka, baKA"
.

When I got here, there was a lot of snow. In some places about 2 meters. (Sorry again, i.m slowly going metric). There's nothing quite like walking 15 minutes to school each way in such a winter wonderland. I have considered doing au naturalé just so i wouldn't be lying when i say (20 years from now) "Kids today, when i was young..." But Japan has weird laws about public nudity. Besides, most of it has melted by now.

Speaking of inappropriate things to mention; that brings me to bathrooms. Yeah, so, i had returned from Akita city the other day. After an hour train journey and several coffees, a trip to the little boys room was in order. Upon entry, i found myself facing a giant pink purse slung over a shoulder. "Ah, crap", I thought, "but there's there's a picture of dude on the door. One of us must be in the wrong toilet. Wait, why she using a urinal...". The man-bag thing is pretty big over here. I guess that makes sense...but pink?

I went with a friend to a hanami party. Basically it's a BBQ under cherry trees in blossom. Good times. Anywhoo, his parents don't know much in the way English and they're telling me about the town via him. So i'm sitting there nodding as mom's chatting. Now, my Japanese is a bit better than it was a couple years ago. I'm by no means proficient, but i was able to make out "toilet" and "2,000,000,000" and "yen". Mom sees the look on my face and acknowledges that, yes, they built a water closet for $20,000,000 US!
No from platinum or gold or chocolate. They made it from wood...20 large for a wooden outhouse. I LOVE Japan!

















It's a little hard to make out, but this the bathroom that cost more money then i'll ever make. Ever. But it was a lot of fun and quite beautiful. (The park, not the loo).

Other than that, things are going pretty good. Golden week is coming up a week from today. I'm planning on going to Joetsu to visit my buddy and his shiny new wife. The script calls from fishing and...that's pretty much. I'm looking forward to not doing anything and having my pal's hot wife make me dinner every night. :)
Good times.

Again, sorry for the long delay. I hope everything is going well with everyone. My family is coming out in May so, if you want anything from Japan. . .












BAKA: stupid, idiot
GOMEN(ISAI): Sorry, Thanks, After you, Appreciated
Actually, you can have a whole conversion using only gomenisai. I've accidentally proposed to three people trying to say "thanks"!